cynsa

THE ALBUMIN IS OUT!

I realize that this is somewhat old news, but I never posted it here, so there ya go.

In other news, my migraines are finally under control thanks to my friendly neurologist, who is doping me up something fierce. It's not perfect, but I finally can say that not every day is a headache day, and it's amazing what a difference that makes on my outlook. I'm even...chipper!

it's been a while since I've posted here. well, Alyn and I are gearing up to finally release the lemon juju album, like candy, and I'm spending all my free time in the studio or working on artwork.

I think it will be a thing of beauty.

hi to all my buds out there.

dear friends of the schmoe!

that fateful, hateful day fast approaches. I am, of course
referring to Valentine's Day, bane and blight of all mortal
existence. but there's a cure! come see the Schmoes and
we will waft your cares away. or at least, we will wedge them
under a seat cushion for a couple of hours. come watch us sing
our happy songs of perfect love this Saturday, February 5th.

at the Sacred Grounds Cafe and Coffeehouse
2095 Hayes Street, at Cole, one block north of panhandle
(415) 387-3859
http://www.sacredgroundscafe.com
8pm ! no cover

you have nothing to lose but your bitterness.

I want to have these guys' useless babies:

http://www.cynsa.com/useless.pdf

gig announcement from my strangely orthogonal ukulele duo:

hey there, juju-peeps,

So how is 2005 treating you so far? Has it enfolded you gently in its
safe, comforting embrace? See, we here at Juju Central, for lack of
iffy electronic voting devices with which to poll our fans, have made an
Executive Decision; to whit: 2005 will be a Zero Accidents Year. You
read correctly. No accidents of Nature, no accidents of blood or ill
health, no accidents involving possums and bicycles moving at high
speed.

Not a one. 2005 will be just perfect. We promise.

So happy 2005 to you, and if you wish to celebrate this miraculous
achievement in advance, feel free to come join us this saturday night,
at:

A'cuppa Tea Incorporated
3202 College Ave Berkeley CA
@Alcatraz
(510) 420-0196
7-9pm

We have the great good fortune of having Citizen Kenny and friends
joining us. We love him! he's like...a perfectly toasted bagel with cream
cheese. and not one of those bready, baked ones. We're talking an
honest, boiled NY bagel with a schmear of lyrical sweetness. In a
salty, masculine, rugged kinda way, of course.



zero accidents. we promise,
lemon juju

yanked from [info]davinatorsf:

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the "coolest" book you can find. Do what's actually next to you

"The article did not mention that proportionately more African-Americans are working poor, nor that, depending on whether the figures are broken down by Hispanic origin as well as race, whites make up either the majority or 38 percent of women on welfare."

(from Farai Chideya's _Don't Believe the Hype: fighting cultural misinformation about african-americans_)

my eclectic ukulele duo is playing this sunday in SF:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
dear jujus:

you know, making music is really hard work. I mean, we're working really
hard, sometimes even on the weekends, putting in the effort, the overtime;
oh sure, sometimes it feels like we're in over our heads, but we keep
trying, we have a plan, a plan to make music.

you have to just trust the plan.

Sunday, October 17th
at the Bazaar Cafe
5927 California St. (415) 831-5620
twixt 21st and 22nd Ave in the Richmond
show starts at 6pm! with singer/songwriter
Christine Costanzo
http://christinecostanzo.com/

heck, we'll eat lunch at our desks if we have to.

hard work.

cynsa

my brother recently let on that the White People of Marin (who are soccer parents for the team he coaches) have been googling him and getting getting me, and my Rectal Foreign Bodies page, and have been very...disconcerted.

he implied that he wanted me to remove the RFB page from my homepage. but I laffed ha ha and told him he was a right bastard. I love him to pieces but sometimes he can really get a stick up his orifice. so you'd think he would support the RFB page. and yet: not.

if he finds this entry he will probably sit on me and stuff anise up my nose.
he used to do that a lot.

anyway, I love the idea of the White People of Marin trying to find their soccer coach and accidentally encountering a pepper pot stuck up someone's rectum.

it's just such a pleasant image.


in other news, my band is playing tonight in Berkeley/Oakland (see below).
bring anise.

an announcement for my deliriously demented ukulele duo:

dear jujus:

recent polls reveal we teeter on the brink, tottering between universes,
dipping our toes in the acid bath of absurdity while trying to deny we need
a pedicure.

we are on the edge. the borderland between dark and light, evil and
goodness, the hard candy shell and the rich, creamy center...

...berkeley and oakland. this friday:

Friday, October 8th
the Nomad Cafe
http://www.gypsyspiritmission.com/html/nomad.htm
6500 Shattuck Ave. (at 65th St.)
Oakland, CA 94609
(510) 595-5344
7:30pm

schismatically yours,

cynsa

oh god this is bracing:
http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/2004/10/what-edwards-should-say-rude-version.html

last night I was doing my usual Twin Peak's ride and on my way back down, at approximately Eureka and Market, I discovered....my hat was gone. oh this my favorite hat of black with the big C in the middle front (C is for ... guess) so I couldn't bear the thought of losing it. I had, stupidly, tucked it under the lock on my handlebars when the ride got too hot (note to self: you are an idiot) and somewhere on the long downhill it had ceased to remain there.

so.

love the hat. but I just climbed 900+ feet up this puppy. how far would you be willing to go for your favorite hat?

as it turns out, about 500+ feet back up the 17th street hill to clayton and clarendon. oy.

http://www.cynsa.com/imgs/peaks.gif.

ok, you ever do something, set up some system in your life involving the
order you place things in the refrigerator, or how you organize your plastic
spoons, and suddenly someone comments on what a total fucking
weirdo you are and then you realize they are right. and you blush?

like say you are a girl sitting on a party train on a friday afternoon with
a bunch of Apple geeks coming home from work, and you are busily
using your G4 laptop to write the latest chapter in your novella, and
some cute boy leans over and offers you a beer and a cookie and asks you
what you're doing, and you say "writing a story," and he looks at your screen
and notices that you are writing it in html, using vi, and turns to
everyone and says OMG you won't believe what she's doing and starts
teasing you mercilessly but in a very funny way, and you are laughing so
hard that you have to stop typing.

now, is it really a good idea, at this point, to say "hang on a second,
just let me just commit this to cvs before I start drinking"?

I mean, is that really smart?

just a hypothetical.

To: the Professionals Who Designed the After-Market
Fairing for My '99 Honda CB750 Nighthawk:

Dear Motorcycle Manufacturing Professionals:

A ruler. A tape measure. Some sort of caliper-like device. I think you
might find all of these very helpful in future when designing your
after-market fairings. Because your current methodology, I am sad to say,
is somewhat lacking. How do I know this? Allow me to explain; I just
spent two hours putting on a fairing that should have taken ten minutes to
install. Part of the problem, you must realize, is the brackets you so
thoughtfully provided have mounting holes that are simply too small for
the standard Honda headlight mounting bolts. These are the same headlight
mounting bolts that have been used on Honda motorcycles for the past 35
years, so I can see how you might have gotten confused. But I feel
confident if you had just invested in some measuring devices and a
five-minute phone call to a Honda Parts Department, I would not have had
to burn out the motor on my Dremel tool grinding down your mounting hole
so I could fit the goddamn pardon my color bolt through it.

I think you will agree spending the afternoon grinding down your mounting
hole can be truly tedious. As a solo activity.

It might also have been helpful to utilize a ruler, so that your own
bracket holes would line up with the corresponding holes in the support
struts you also provided. But I guess it is a little too much to ask for
such extremes of tolerance when manufacturing thousands of these dealies
in, one must assume, your parents' basement.

Now, I realize you are professionals. Of some kind. I'm not clear on
that last bit. So it makes me curious as to why you opted to hire a 5
year-old to draw your installation diagram. Perhaps if you had hired
someone with an eye toward the greater aim of providing the illustrations
in the first place, they might have included the tiniest part of the
actual motorcycle in the breakout diagram, thus making it ever so much
easier to figure out which of your aforementioned ill-fitting parts were
supposed to go where. It is all about contextual understanding, you see,
and five year-olds tend to lack it.

In closing, I would like to thank you for an entertaining two hours that I
might have better spent pushing back the cuticles on my toenails.
Enclosed please find the extra "wishnut" (I fear to ask) and the two
pieces of useless bracket that I successfully managed to replace with a
couple of cable-ties and a cotter pin. I hesitate to advise you what to
do with them, on recommendation from my lawyer.

Yours most sincerely,

Cynsa Bonorris

gig announcement to our mailing list:

dearest jujus:

we love you, you know that, right? we mean, we love-love you, the
fanatical, deep kind of love that girls reserve for their very first bike,
or the first horse they rode when they were still dreaming of unicorns. or
maybe that's too much freud in one sentence.

the point is, we care about you, awfully, we think about you all day every
day and write your name in our notebooks, and we save up fascinating
things to say to you, or funny jokes to tell you the next time we see you.
and we are hoping against hope that will be this Sunday night at 8pm,
because the Bazaar Cafe is having a colossal anniversary weekend, and we
are the closing act on Sunday night.

please be gentle.


Sunday, August 22nd
at the Bazaar Cafe Anniversary Extravaganza (www.bazaarcafe.com)
5927 California St. (415) 831-5620
twixt 21st and 22nd Ave in the Richmond
8pm
with special guests!!

(and if you show up at 7pm, you will have the delightful pleasure of
seeing Daryl Scairiot, one of our faves. remember Daryl? think:
dark chocolcate covered fire-ants. but, you know, with a guitar.)

(also, there will be many many other incredible acts this weekend at the
Anniversary Extravaganza, starting at 7pm friday and going all day every
day, so please check out the line-up at the bottom of this email.)

hearts and kisses,
cynsa


Bazaar Cafe 6th Anniversary Music Extravaganza
----------------------------------------------
Friday, August 20th
TBD

Saturday, August 21st
8:00 The Stereo
9:00 Doug Blumer
10:00 The Ol' Blue Genes
11:00 David Sobel
12:00 Jean Mazzei
1:00 Ken Kingsbury
2:00 Mokai
3:00 Lisa Mandelstein
4:00 Mariospeedwagon
5:00 David Hopkins
6:00 Citizen Kenny
7:00 The Shut-ins
8:00 Scot Sier

Sunday, August 22nd
8:00 Sam & Megan
9:00 Mary Elizabeth Beckman
10:00 John O'Brien
11:00 Jared Karol
12:00 Shavi Blake
1:00 Will Hector
2:00 Wendy DeRosa
3:00 Vanessa Verlee
4:00 Caren Armstrong
5:00 Jeff Pehrson
6:00 Ira Marlowe
7:00 Daryl Scairiot
8:00 Lemon Juju

spent the eve working on the album art for lemon juju. here is the current rev:

now if can only get the damned cello player to get his ass in gear. I swear, wrangling
musicians takes up a good 10% of my friggin' day....

Reason #325 Why I Wish I Could Have Eaten Stephen Jay Gould's Brain
(Posthumously):

from the new intro in his revised and expanded _The Mismeasure of Man_ (p21):
"A linguist friend did correctly anticipate the one curious problem that my
title would entail. For some reason (and I have done this myself, so I am
not casting blame but expressing puzzlement), people tend to mispronounce
the first word as "mishmeasure"--leading to unwanted levity and embarrassment
in introductions before talks, or in radio interviews. Apparently, or so my
friend explained, we anticipate the zh sound to come in "measure"--and we
unconsciously try to match the first part of the word to the later sound,
therefore saying "mish" instead of "mis." I find this error fascinating.
After all, we make the mistake in anticipation of a sound as yet unsaid,
thus indicating (or so I suppose) how our brain monitors language before the
fact of expression. Isn't the form of the error also remarkable? Are we
driven to prefer these alliterative, pleasantly repeated combinations of
sounds? Does this consonance occur merely for ease of articulation, or is
something deeper about cerebral patterning thus revealed? What do such
phenomena have to say about the origin and form of poetry? What about the
nature and organization of our mental functioning?"